What Should I Do ?

Every Night b4 I slip , all the stupid thinking came back ...
The tears i hold inside all flows out ><
This few weeks my mood all changed , always in a sad & down mood .
always been thinking what should I do , i let my parents down
i let myself down . Dunno what my future will be like nvr study hard ,
my parents always thought im studying in skul but skul is juz a place
for me to slip and play ....
Don't know why studying is a hard thing for me , they say it's easy
juz read and read . bt reading is a boring thing zzZ !!!
Hope after SPM , my parents will know what is happening then .